A Lesson in Crisis Management

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Keen followers of this blog will know that the making of War on Terror has been beset by many problems. We've encountered everything from shipping delays and toy fair bans to media storms and retail disapproval, but we never expected this...

In case you hadn't gathered, things have gone wrong on a scale that was previously only possible to express using advanced quantum physics. We're in a pickle, to say the least. We're so much in a pickle, that even the insides of a real pickle have no idea what it truly means to be 'in a pickle' compared to our present state. We are inside the mother of all pickles.

The gory details will have to wait, but basically the people we'd entrusted to store our games and fulfill all our orders haven't actually been doing much for the past six weeks. We only realised this a week ago and, in fact, the full extent of the problem is still unfolding ...

We are inside the mother of all pickles. In an effort to regain control, we paid them a cordial visit yesterday and managed to fill a van with games and bring them back to TerrorBull Games HQ.

What we know at the moment is that no UK orders have been processed since the 18 January 2007, no European orders have been processed since around 18 December 2006 and no 'rest of world' orders have been processed since around 15 December 2006. (US and Canadian orders are all fine - they're handled by a separate company in the States).

Right now, we're sifting through our order database and matching it up with various delivery reports and invoices as best we can. It's an exhausting (and tedious) task, but at least it's now in our control.

If you ordered a game after one of the 'cut off' dates listed above, we're sure you're wondering when exactly you'll get your game. The truth is, we don't know exactly. The reports and invoices are a mess and we're stuck between wanting to give an indication and not over-promising, only to run into more problems down the line. However, we're working round the clock on this and at the moment it seems realistic that we can clear the backlog in two weeks. Any change to this and we'll update the website.

Right now a career change into small arms trading looks really appealing. No hassle, government kick-backs, loads of profit and no one dicks you around, because, let's face it, even if you're the little guy, you're still seriously tooled up.

Oh bugger

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In true TerrorBull style, we're in hot water again. We've been forced into finding a new UK warehouse and distribution partner within two weeks (our third so far).

Until we find a new partner, we've decided to stop taking orders for UK, Europe and 'Rest of the World'. Unfortunatly our solicitors have advised us not to say much more at this stage, but we're making alternative arrangements right now.

Current plan is to move our stock as soon as we can and then we'll be fulfilling orders personally. At least everything will be under our control.

After we've secured our stock, we'll be in touch with everyone who's order has been effected to explain where we're at.

Sorry, once again we're having to navigate our way through a crisis. We really appreciate your patience and we thank you for weathering the seas of change with us. One day, it'll be plain sailing, on clear seas... calm, soft waves lapping at our feet dangling in the water... passing dolphins coming up to play... watching icebergs gracefully melt away...

TBG Board Meeting

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This weekend saw the inaugural TerrorBull Games board meeting. We convened, schemed, plotted and laughed. Then we had a money fight. Then we ate caviar and fine cheeses, followed by swan and a side dish of otter stuffed with quail.

Oh yes, we're living the good life here at TBG HQ. Actually, against all odds, it looks like we're keeping our head above water and if things carry on like they are, then we may have to consider getting another batch of games made in the summer.

In other news, we've just booked our place in Vegas. The GAMA conference has been the only industry convention in the world to actually invite us to participate, rather than turn us away. How could we ignore such generosity?

The only downer of the moment is our continuing struggle to get games to people. It's obviously not rocket science, but things are going far from smoothly with our UK warehouse and distribution partner. We're having an emergency audit carried out as we speak and hope to be back on track soon. *sigh*

Let's end on a happy note: new photos in the EVIL gallery!

Return to the Toy Fair

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We may not be allowed to exhibit at the London Toy Fair, but who's to say we're not allowed to drop in and say 'hello'?

So that's what we did. Packed up early and headed to London to take a look around. It was a bit quiet to be honest. We expected some sort of siren to go off when they scanned our badges, but there was just eerie silence.

Bit sad to see most of the small independents who were there last year no longer there. We did see our mate Joel of rathergood fame though, who had a lovely booth, spongmonkeys and all.

Over lunch, we decided to relax with a little War on Terror in the concourse. We took bets at how long we'd last and despite feeling pessimistic, we managed an entire 2 player game. Next year, it might be us driving around in tiny cars I don't think security spotted us, plus with Marvin the Magician disappearing bowling balls next door and a large guy in a tiny car weaving in and out of the tables, few people paid attention to Andy T drinking coffee in an Evil Balaclava. (The terrorists won, by the way).

After packing up the game, disappointed that we hadn't been thrown out, we took the proverbial (terror)bull by the horns and demanded to see the organisers to get some answers, face-to-face, as to why we weren't allowed to exhibit. After all, we were fobbed off on the phone with "you wouldn't fit in" but there were Stormtroopers walking around with GUNS and there was a game about getting away with MURDER and there was even a plastic kid's CROSSBOW on display. How do we not fit in? So we handed a game in to the Toy Fair organisers, along with a plea to at least look at what they'd decided to reject off-hand. Let's see what happens.

Next year, it might be us driving around in tiny cars.

Synchronised War on Terror World Record Attempt

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Winter madness has set in. A sudden War on Terror demand means that 10 people show up for a game and there's nothing for it but to try two simultaneous games of WoT.

Everyone's slightly nervous - it feels like crossing the streams or something equally dangerous.

What follows is a perfect illustration of how WoT changes and adapts to its players. Team A, lead by Andy T, have a noisy, chaotic, shouty game, resulting in at least one billionaire and the banker having to sit on the money to prevent bank raids by the boistrous terrorists.

There was an instant behavioural shift from slouching, laid-back humans, to excited, screaming, red-faced fighting-chimps.Meanwhile, Team B, lead by Andy S, struggle to explain basic concepts, such as how sea routes work, to a novice boardgamer who's never set eyes upon a pair of dice in his life.

When team A were squabbling over nuclear proliferation, team B had only just discovered fire. When team A were surveying a planet sucked dry of its resources, bombed to crap and covered in terrorists, team B had just discovered Australia.

After four hours, both 5-player games were over and the post-WoT torpor sets in. That is, until we bring out the extra balaclavas!

We'd always wondered what would happen if you put 10 people in balaclavas in the same room together and we can now reveal the results of this experiment: people revert to monkeys.

There was an instant behavioural shift from slouching, laid-back humans, to excited, screaming, red-faced fighting-chimps. In a matter of seconds.

And as quickly as group insanity descended, the balaclavas came off and order was restored.

Now, what happens if you get 50 people together ...